I Doubt Even Newgrounds Remembered That Game

Yesterday, NRA head Wayne LaPierre gave what has been regarded as a callous, tone-deaf speech in response to the Newtown shootings. LaPierre blamed virtually everything except guns, up to and including an extremely obscure 10-year-old game on Newgrounds called Kindergarten Killers.

But perhaps I'm being too harsh. After all, look at all the dangerous things in video games that might be repurposed to kill someone.

For example, swing sets.



Or leaf blowers, or toasters.



Or curling stones, or pencils, or snowmen, or refrigerators, or snowflakes. (Embedding disabled.)

Or people. (It's true! People do kill people!)



See, this is the thing, Wayne. Video games are ridiculous. It's their thing. Anyone that's ever played one knows they're ridiculous. We're past the point where anyone is seriously claiming that video games cause violence due to people not being able to tell the games from reality. This is not, nor is it ever going to be, a video game debate. This is a gun debate, no matter how much you desperately want it to not be a gun debate.

You have to remember, back in 1983, we called this 'realistic'.



Eight years later, we had this:



And last I checked, Frank Thomas never packed heat on the basepaths.