Friday, November 18, 2011

Global Warming, or: None Like It Hot!

(Suzie walks outside with an ice cream cone. The ice cream melts. Suzie cries.)

You're probably wondering why your ice cream went away. Well, Suzie, the culprit isn't foreigners, it's global warming!

"Gwobal wappa?"

Uh, yeah. Meet Mr. Sunbeam. He comes all the way from the sun to visit Earth.

"Hello, Earth! Just poppin' in to brighten your day! [He hums.] And now I'll be on my way!"

"Not so fast, Sunbeam! We're greenhouse gases. You ain't goin' nowhere! [Mr. Sunbeam is beaten up.]

"Ooh! Ah! Oh, God, it hurts!"

Pretty soon, Earth is chock-full of sunbeams, their rotting corpses heating our atmosphere.

"How do we get wid of the gweenhouse grasses?"

Fortunately, our handsomest Mongolian politicians came up with a cheap, last-minute way to combat global warming. Ever since 2011, they put some giant ice cubes around Ulanbataar now and then.

"Just like Daddy puts in his drink every morning. And then he gets mad."

Of course, since the greenhouse gases are still building up, it takes more and more ice each time. Thus solving the problem once and for all.




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