Stop Reading Chain Letters, Seriously, Come On

So this has been making the rounds on Facebook lately. You may have seen it yourself; I've been hit from several sides by it:

Salary of retired US Presidents ………….$180,000 FOR LIFE
Salary of House/Senate …………………..$174,000 FOR LIFE
Salary of Speaker of the House …………$223,500 FOR LIFE
Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders …… $193,400 FOR LIFE
...Average Salary of a teacher ……………. $40,065
Average Salary of Soldier DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN $38,000
I think we found where the cuts should be made! If you agree… Copy and RE-POST

The sentiment expressed by this... what do we use to describe it? Chain post?... is pretty obvious: if we're going to be making budget cuts, "I think we found where the cuts should be made".

Only one problem: are those facts and figures actually accurate? We need to figure that out before we get out the torches and-- oh, screw it, you lit the torches long ago. Well, it'd be a nice thing to know regardless. We wouldn't want to have our facts wrong and look stupid, would we?

There are two main things we have to cover: first, are these salary figures accurate and where did they come from. Second, we need to settle the 'FOR LIFE' side of the equation. This, it can only be assumed, refers to the pension that those officeholders receive upon leaving their respective bodies. We need to find out if they actually get a pension equal to their active-duty salary; and if not, what the pension actually is.

First, we'll handle the President. A current President's salary, most recently revised in the administration of Bush 43, is $400,000 per year, up from $200,000 previously. He also gets a $50,000 non-taxable stipend. But current Presidents aren't on the list. We want retired Presidents. While $180,000 is a commonly-given answer, their pay- their pension- is actually not a fixed amount. It is indexed to match the salary of current Cabinet members. That salary, along with many others in the highest levels of the executive branch, is part of something called "Executive Schedule". Executive Schedule covers top-ranked Presidential appointees, sorting their salaries into five levels, given Roman numerals I-V. I is highest. Everyone at a given level gets the same salary.

Everyone in the Cabinet sits at Level I. Which means, by extension, retired Presidents also get Level I pay. The salary there, currently, is $199,700. That's actually MORE than the angry chain-post claims by $19,700.

Just for fun:

*Also at Level I are the Director of National Intelligence, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Commissioner of the Social Security Administration, and the directors of the Office of Management and Budget and the Office of National Drug Control Policy.

*Level II salary is $179,700. Sitting here, among others, are the Joint Chiefs of Staff and deputy secretaries.

*Level III pay is $165,300. Undersecretaries sit here. Yes, that is a different thing from deputy secretaries. Also sitting here, among others, are the Solicitor General, the directors of the FBI, DEA, Peace Corps, Office of Government Ethics, and Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services, the administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, and chairmen for the FCC, FTC, SEC, FDIC, OSHA, Consumer Product Safety Commission, National Endowment for the Arts, National Endowment for the Humanities, and Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

*Level IV gets $155,500. Assistant Secretaries go here- yes, that's another level- along with various Inspector Generals. Also here are the heads of the Bureau of the Census, National Institute of Standards and Technology, Office of Science, Food and Drug Administration, Bureau of Prisons, and Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

*Level V gets $145,700. Among the people here are the Archivist of the United States, and heads of the US Fish and Wildlife Service, US Geological Survey, US Bureau of Mines, Bureau of Indian Affairs, Bureau of Land Management, National Park Service, and the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History.

The other governmental figures, the members of Congress, match the figures shown here, at least, while they're actively in office. That isn't in dispute. However, the pension is not full. Nor is it immediate, or even automatic. In order to get any Congressional pension at all, members of Congress must first earn it by having served a bare minimum of five years in civil federal service. So if you serve two terms in the House and then lose out on a third term, you're out of luck unless you find some other governmental position in which to get that other year.

There are other restrictions as well. In Congress, you are not eligible for a pension until your 50th birthday, and even to get it then, you have to have served for 20 years or be part of nine Congresses. Other than that, generally speaking, you qualify either on your 62nd birthday, or upon having served for 25 years.

Your pension is figured combining your years of service with the average of the three years in which you earned the highest salary, along with factoring in (PDF file) which of two federal retirement plans you have. (They introduced a new system in 1987, the Federal Employees' Retirement System (FERS) and employees who started prior to 1984 were given the option of which plan they preferred, FERS or their current one, the Civil Service Retirement System (CSRS).) However, your pension is not indexed, like former Presidents, and your initial pension amount cannot exceed 80% of your final salary. CSRS sees you max out after your 32nd year. There is no maximum under FERS, but we'll calculate at 32 years there as well for comparative purposes.

Congress currently gets an annual pay raise unless Congress votes it down. This is a different pay structure than the retired President. At no point in time do Congressional salaries and pensions of retired Presidents meet up in the way they do in the chain-post. The poster had to have gotten them from two different sources that were working on two different timeframes.

The older pension plan, CSRS, is figured as such:

High 3-year average X years of service X .025 = Annual pension

The newer plan, FERS, is figured as such:

[High 3-year average X .017 x years of service up to 20] + [High 3-year average X .01 x years of service past 20] = Annual pension

In 2006, the most recent year available, the average CSRS recipient was getting $60,972 annually. 290 people had retired under CSRS The average FERS recipient, of which there were 123, was getting $35,952 annually; this is the average newly-incoming members of Congress should look at. Individual figures are not given.

Let us assume, for theoretical purposes, the 32-year scenario for all, with three-year averages all locked at current levels:

House/Senate: $174,000
Speaker of the House: $223,500
Majority/Minority Leaders: $193,400

This means that, under CSRS, they would each get in annual pension:

House/Senate: $174,000 x 32 x .025 = $139,200 annual pension
Speaker of the House: $223,500 x 32 x .025 = $178,800 annual pension
Majority/Minority Leaders: $193,400 x 32 x .025 = $154,720 annual pension

And under FERS, there is no maximum, but it would take 66 years in Congress- which has never been done- to achieve 80%. After 32 years, it works out to 46% of that same salary:

House/Senate: [$174,000 x .017 x 20 = $59,160] + [$174,000 x .01 x 12 = $20,880] = $80,040 annual pension
Speaker of the House: [$223,500 x .017 x 20 = $75,990] + [$223,500 x .01 x 12 = $26,820] = $102,810 annual pension
Majority/Minority Leaders: [$193,400 x .017 x 20 = $65,756] + [$193,400 x .01 x 12 = $23,208] = $88,964 annual pension

Remember, those are theoretical, perfect, absolute-maximum pensions that someone could get, today, by leaving Congress. Not only is it nowhere close to the claimed amount in the chain-post, even in a perfect scenario, but the newer plan, FERS, which newly-elected members are placed into, gives them LESS money, significantly less, than the plan that the older members get. So the chain-post is way off here.

Next, we have the teachers. Their average is pegged at $40,065, but this number appears dubious. This number is overwhelmingly seen only in repostings. The most relevant things I could find that uses $40,065 as an average are here, the Elk River Public School District in Minnesota, where $40,065 is the median male income; here, Upper Little Caillou Elementary in Chauvin, Louisiana, where $40,065 is the average faculty salary in 2006-07; and here, Blanket High School in Blanket, Texas, where $40,065 is the average base salary for Blanket High's entire district. Frankly, these appear to be nothing more than lucky shots, because there are so many numbers thrown around in so many districts in so many categories that any given dollar amount is bound to match something somewhere. I shifted the average one dollar lower, to $40,064, and came up with schools in Cape Girardeau, Missouri and New Albany, Indiana. One dollar higher, $40,066, matches the average base salary for a district in Amarillo, Texas.

Blind luck.

As it happens, it's pretty hard to get a blanket figure for "teacher" if you're not really paying attention. When you look for it, you'll find they're usually parsed out by state, by experience, or by type of teacher, and while $40,065 never shows up, the numbers work out to where that comes pretty close to an average of some sort. (Although most of the groups show that $40,065 would skew a few thousand dollars low of average.) It may have been that someone took all the salaries in one of the lower-paying groups shown, smashed them together as a mean average with total disregard as to weighting, and used the result in the chain-post. However, it's almost impossible to tell what group they used.

The first Google result for 'average salary' takes us to salary.com, and the most popular search there is for teacher salaries. An average person needing to smash an average together would most likely go here to do it.

Smashing a mean average together from the 10 categories shown produces $43,934.20, a little less than $4,000 short of the given average. So that's not what the originator did, not precisely. But it is close enough to imagine that this was done somewhere or other. Just not at salary.com.

An actual average, however, is available via the National Education Association. (PDF file.) The average for all classroom teachers was estimated, for 2010-11, to be $56,069, up from $55,202 the previous year. The chain-post's number now looks fairly wildly off.

As for a soldier in Afghanistan, $38,000 matches the number given in the fourth Google result for "average annual salary troop afghanistan", something on Yahoo Answers talking about one specific rank in one specific branch- a tech sergeant in the Air Force.

The Army base pay scale is shown here; the equivalent rank is staff sergeant. $38,000 is higher than any of the figures listed; the highest is $34,088 for a staff sergeant serving for over 6 years. (Privates are started at $17,611 for the first four months.) However, that is only base pay.

An average is even more problematic to track down than that for teachers, because of the sheer number of variables and bonuses that get in the way of producing that nice, clean single average. I was never able to get that straightforward average. The three most relevant are hardship pay ($225 a month, or $2,700 a year), combat pay ($150 a month in Afghanistan, meaning $1,800 a year), and family separation allowances ($250 a month, or $3,000 a year). Combined, that's $7,500 tacked onto your base pay right there if you have any dependents, or $4,500 if you don't. There is also food allowance, clothing allowance, hazardous duty pay, and various other factors.

There is one more, fairly major oversight made by the chain-post: when in a combat zone, a soldier's pay becomes tax-exempt. That provides a substantial boost to someone's salary. It's not going to get anyone swimming in champagne, not by a longshot, but it's nothing to sneeze at either.

Suffice to say, on what has been supplied, $38,000 is certainly one possible number, but a more responsible thing to do is give a range, and while it's a rough, broad estimate, an average soldier in Afghanistan could probably expect between $30,000 and $60,000, somewhere between 'pretty bad' to 'actually fairly decent'. Were I to venture a guess of my own, I'd settle on something around $50,000, give or take. But don't take that as gospel.

So where does this all leave us? Let's revisit the chain-post:

Salary of retired US Presidents ………….$180,000 FOR LIFE
Salary of House/Senate …………………..$174,000 FOR LIFE
Salary of Speaker of the House …………$223,500 FOR LIFE
Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders …… $193,400 FOR LIFE
...Average Salary of a teacher ……………. $40,065
Average Salary of Soldier DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN $38,000

And now, let's revise it to reflect the actual numbers we've found.

Salary of retired US Presidents ………….$199,700 (and rising) FOR LIFE
Salary of House/Senate …………………..$174,000, then $35,952 FOR LIFE
Salary of Speaker of the House …………$223,500
Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders …… $193,400
...Average Salary of a teacher ……………. $56,069
Average Salary of Soldier DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN depends on A LOT OF THINGS but is probably between $30,000-60,000, TAX-FREE

The sentiment of the chain-post- that elected officials make much more in comparison to teachers and soldiers- is accurate. However, the exact numbers are almost completely wrong, mostly in a direction that makes the differences more stark than in reality, and the Congressional pension numbers are ridiculously off. And the tax-exempt status of the soldier in Afghanistan gives a big boost to their entire pay structure.

This chain-post is an example of the phrase 'garbage in, garbage out'. It looks to have been put together very lazily, with bad and very possibly outmoded data. Someone probably got angry, had general, predetermined ideas of what the numbers were going to be, threw together the first numbers they could come up with that looked right, and made a post out of it. As such, the numbers only have the most threadbare of resemblances to reality.

To borrow Politifact's rating scale, I rate this chain-post Mostly False.

Random News Generator- Germany

First off, yes, there's the Women's World Cup going on today. Earlier today North Korea lost 1-0 to Sweden, sending the Swedes through to the quarterfinals and eliminating the North Koreans with one game remaining for each in the group stage. The United States plays Colombia shortly; the Americans can advance with a win while a loss will eliminate Colombia.

Also confirmed to advance are France, Japan and host Germany. Confirmed as eliminated are Nigeria, Canada and New Zealand.

However, there is something else notable in Germany today: the formal end of their draft, with the final draftees being released from service on Thursday. West Germany instituted a draft in 1957, with the aim of tying the military more closely to society in general so that it wouldn't get any new bright ideas about world domination. Sometimes the period of required service was 18 months; in later years it was whittled down to six, and eventually, the memory and shame of Hitler and World War 2 just turned the Germans largely off of war entirely. The result has been a shrinking military, fewer campaigns abroad, and the end of the draft that we are now seeing.

Although the recession had something to do with it too.

Swapping to a volunteer force, though, may start causing another cultural echo chamber, as a disproportionally high number of volunteers come from the former East Germany. Lack of opportunity in civilian life leads some to enlist, just like in any other country with a volunteer army, and East Germany never really caught up with West Germany economically after the Cold War.

The move to abolish the draft has drawn opposition from, of all things, the nation's hospitals. With any draft, there will be conscientious objectors. Conscientious objectors are placed somewhere on the homefront where they can still be of use- for instance, a hospital. Or a kindergarten. Or an assisted-living facility. Those places, in turn, receive relatively cheap labor. That is the core of the objection: no objectors means no cheap labor, and no cheap labor means payroll costs go up. In addition, the objectors tend to be given the more basic, menial tasks, tasks that would then have to be reassigned to their regular employees, employees that have gotten used to concentrating on more critical tasks. Productivity, thus, would go down as well.

Jobs, however, would not be much of an issue. Germany is currently riding 24 consecutive months of falling unemployment, with the 7.0% unemployment rate the best Germany has seen since the fall of the Berlin Wall. If someone wants or needs that kind of work, there it is.

Alpha Dog of the Week

Stephen Colbert is off this week prepping for a week of shows in DC and what is now the Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear. So I shall pick up the slack for him today, which means I must declare an Alpha Dog of the Week.

(woof)

My Alpha Dog of the Week is Jessica Simpson's dad, Joe Simpson.

(arf)

Jessica is going to be doing a Christmas special, or, more accurately, she did it on Thursday and it will be shown on Christmas. A vocal group of veterans, 4Troops, was set to appear alongside Jessica in the special, who stated over and over on stage how much she supports the troops.

Joe, however, decided to cut their number from the program. According to Page Six, he didn't like the fact that they were in camo pants in blazers- the same dress as they were in when they did a routine on the USS Intrepid- as opposed to tuxedos. They spent six hours in a basement before being told this, while Jessica, who according to her representatives had just returned from a tour of the Persian Gulf, her inspiration for the special in the first place- appears to have been oblivious to what was going on.

Joe deemed the veterans "too scruffy".

Well, that takes some balls right there, Joe, keeping your daughter in the dark and then kicking out a major part of the reason anyone's on stage that day. So what if they're veterans? They spent a year or more in Iraq and Afghanistan getting shot at so you don't have to; what's six hours in a New York basement not getting shot at? They even have all the amenities down there, up to and including nothing that will randomly explode. It may have been appropriate dress for David Petraeus, but you're in the civilization you've been protecting now. We have standards.

Besides, what singer dresses in fatigues? ...you know, besides 50 Cent. And Rihanna,a resident of Barbados. And Elvis. And the star of the movie Private Valentine, Jessica Simpson.

In fact, for helping to save a support-the-troops Christmas special from any actual troops, I say the military should probably get Joe Simpson, my Alpha Dog of the Week, a Christmas gift.

Head down to West Virginia, and seize all the coal.

Trivia In Uniform

I'm going to try and budget me some time for the soccer book today (Slavia Sofia of Bulgaria, team #400 to get the once-over, is on deck), so let's make a quickie.

What percentage of American soldiers that served in World War 2 were draftees? What percentage of the Army specifically were draftees?

...no, I'm not going to give you the answer because you wouldn't click otherwise.

Badasses Through History: Audie Murphy

It's Memorial Day, so why not honor a soldier. Specifically, today we honor quite possibly the single greatest soldier in American history.

From Kingston, Texas, Audie Murphy, a veteran of World War 2's European theater, has a list of military decorations that need only be read to get the idea across, and it should be noted that this is a partial list:

*Medal of Honor
*Distinguished Service Cross
*Silver Star (won twice)
*Legion of Merit
*Bronze Star (won twice)
*Purple Heart ('won' three times)
*Combat Infantryman Badge
*Presidential Unit Citation (won twice)
*U.S. Army Outstanding Civilian Service Medal
*French Legion of Honor
*French Croix de guerre (won twice)
*Belgian Croix de guerre
*Marksman Badge on rifle bar
*Expert Badge on bayonet bar

Did I mention that Murphy was fighting off malaria basically the entire time? And that Murphy, in case you're not counting, wound up with a complete set of American military medals for valor? Seriously. They awarded him everything they had, 33 American medals in all, to go with the five French and one Belgian.

And he had to lie to say he was of age to serve, take an Army post after the Marines, Navy and paratroopers rejected him for being too small, and had to fight off an assignment to baker's school after passing out during training- and just having that kind of face- just to get the opportunity.

Let's take the Distinguished Service Cross first. On August 15, 1944, Murphy's division made an amphibious landing in southern France. After a firefight, a German soldier walked forward carrying a white flag. Then the German soldier rescinded the white flag and shot Murphy's friend, Lattie Tipton. This was not a good idea. Murphy went nuts, grabbing a German machine gun and, along with the use of grenades, proceeded to lay waste to every German in the vicinity, spread across several positions.

As for the Medal of Honor, usually one need only read the citation, and here it is.

on 26 January 1945, near Holtzwihr, France, commanded Company B, which was attacked by six tanks and waves of infantry. Lieutenant Murphy ordered his men to withdraw to a prepared position in a woods while he remained forward at his command post and continued to give fire directions to the artillery by telephone. Behind him to his right one of our tank destroyers received a direct hit and began to burn. It's crew withdrew to the woods. Lieutenant Murphy continued to direct artillery fire which killed large numbers of the advancing enemy infantry. With the enemy tanks abreast of his position, Lieutenant Murphy climbed on the burning tank destroyer which was in danger of blowing up any instant and employed its .50 caliber machine gun against the enemy. He was alone and exposed to the German fire from three sides, but his deadly fire killed dozens of Germans and caused their infantry attack to water. The enemy tanks, losing infantry support, began to fall back. For an hour the Germans tried every available weapon to eliminate Lieutenant Murphy, but he continued to hold his position and wiped out a squad which was trying to creep up unnoticed on his right flank. Germans reached as close as 10 yards only to be mowed down by his fire. He received a leg wound but ignored it and continued the single-handed fight until his ammunition was exhausted. He then made his way to his company, refused medical attention, and organized the company in a counterattack which forced the Germans to withdraw. His directing of artillery fire wiped out many of the enemy; he personally killed or wounded about 50.

Lieutenant Murphy's indomitable courage and his refusal to give an inch of ground saved his company from possible encirclement and destruction and enabled it to hold the woods which had been the enemy's objective.

And remember: this was while he had malaria.

Murphy died in a plane crash in 1971; not only is he buried at Arlington, but his gravesite is the second-most visited in the cemetery, behind only John F. Kennedy. It contains no special adornments- which Murphy would have been entitled to; Medal of Honor winners normally are given gold leaf on their tombstones- as Murphy wished to have a gravestone similar to that of an ordinary soldier.

It wasn't the first time he had downplayed himself. This is a man who, in the movie made about his service, To Hell And Back (in which he played himself), asked that his actual, real-life deeds be toned down for the movie because they would not be believable to a movie audience. He also would have preferred not to play himself; he thought it egotistical.

Badasses Through History: Edouard Izac

Let's keep it short and halfway readable today. This is the Medal of Honor citation of one Edouard Izac, former Congressman from San Diego, California, and I will only say that if this were a movie plot, it would be unrealistic:

Rank and organization: Lieutenant, U.S. Navy. Place and date: Aboard German submarine U-90 as prisoner of war, May 21, 1918. Entered service at: Illinois. Born: December 18, 1891, Cresco, Howard County, Iowa.

Citation:

When the U.S.S. President Lincoln was attacked and sunk by the German submarine U-90, on May 21, 1918, Lt. Izac was captured and held as a prisoner on board the U-90 until the return of the submarine to Germany, when he was confined in the prison camp. During his stay on the U-90 he obtained information of the movements of German submarines which was so important that he determined to escape, with a view to making this information available to the U.S. and Allied Naval authorities. In attempting to carry out this plan, he jumped through the window of a rapidly moving train at the imminent risk of death, not only from the nature of the act itself but from the fire of the armed German soldiers who were guarding him. Having been recaptured and reconfined, Lt. Izac made a second and successful attempt to escape, breaking his way through barbed-wire fences and deliberately drawing the fire of the armed guards in the hope of permitting others to escape during the confusion. He made his way through the mountains of southwestern Germany, having only raw vegetables for food, and at the end, swam the River Rhine during the night in the immediate vicinity of German sentries.

Izac would make it to the American embassy in Bern the morning the war ended. He would later assist in the inspection of the recently-liberated Buchenwald concentration camp. He would be the last surviving Medal of Honor recipient from World War 1, and the only US Navy recipient during that war.

Needless to say, he is buried at Arlington.