This is going to be the last post made before I head out to Los Angeles. Should my computer situation pan out, maybe I'll be able to fire something off while out there, but if it's similar to the situation in Hawaii, you might not see me again for the next week.
Now, while I'm gone, I need you to do a couple things for me...
*Do not spend all your money getting celebrities to tweet about you.
*Do not kill the cat of a campaign manager, spraypaint the word 'liberal' on its carcass, and leave it on the doorstep for his four kids to find. I never thought I'd have to actually tell you not to do that, but apparently we have some sick, sick excuses for people around here.
*By the same note, please do not use sports as an excuse to mob a hospital and/or raise general mayhem in search of a fan of your own team who does not root for your team the way you want them to root for them.
*Remember to set the clocks back one second. I left a note for you on the microwave. Should only take you a couple seconds.
*Please don't drop little Billy on his head. You'll make him stupid.
*You don't have to seize cities on behalf of Moammar Gadhafi anymore. He's dead. Stop it. You're embarrassing yourself.
*And don't bet food on the Super Bowl. Making food bets on playoff games is really, really stupid. Take the Packers/Giants game back in the divisional round. What Packers fan could be so stupidly overconfident in victory that he made a bet where if the Packers lost, he had to haul cheese all the way down to Los Angeles to deliver to the Giants fan he made the bet with? Who DOES that?
...oh. Me. That's right. I'm an idiot.