Thursday, September 15, 2011

How To Rob A Bank

Step 1. First, try not robbing it.
Step 2. The teller has the money and may elect not to give you that money. All the teller has to do is stall for time until the police come. You may be forced to run without getting anything if the teller is taking too long.
Step 2-A. Although it won't score you any intimidation points by running at the first sign of resistance.
Step 3. Try and fill the gas tank of the getaway car before robbing the bank. It may be a long chase.
Step 3-A. At the very least, try to make sure your getaway car isn't running on fumes.

Other things to consider in your criminal career:

*Try not to launch your criminal career in front of the police station.
*After you rob someone, they may not be swayed by attempts at bribery.
*Do not walk into a courthouse carrying an open case of beer and openly drink the beer while slurring your speech and offering the cops a beer as long as you can keep some for yourself. Especially if you had no appointment at the courthouse in the first place.
*Watch who you text before you try to make a drug deal. Try to be sure that you are not texting the cops.
*Do not stuff ribs down your pants. Whether you are committing a crime or not. Nothing good ever comes from ribs down your pants.
*If you are attempting to steal 255 gallons of gas in one trip, the gas station may become suspicious before you have even finished obtaining the gas. Especially if you are obtaining it directly from the reservoir as opposed to the pump.

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