Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Here Comes The Boom

Apparently, I have nothing better to do today. So I have opted to create a top-10 list. The intended lesson here is to not be that idiot that runs onto the field at a sporting event. Most of you are not that idiot, and do not need such a lesson, so for you today is just a bit of stupid fun. You will almost certainly get caught (though there has been the odd case of a guy that gets away), especially considering the fact that, while you may be outside, you are still in an enclosed structure and are on what is usually a flat plane where there is nowhere to hide. The way to start hiding is to get off the field, and since you're probably drunk and certainly stupid, that won't occur to you.

Also, you probably will not get on TV, as giving you TV time will only encourage other people to run onto the field in the future in the hopes that they'll get on TV too.

What is the top-10 list of? The top 10 absolute total deckings, at least those which I could find in a YouTube binge, of fans who have run onto the field. Did I mention you are running into a gauntlet of highly-trained athletes in peak physical condition who would love to use you as target practice? And security? And cheerleaders? And referee? And mascot? You are free game for every last one of them. And believe me, there are few things more humiliating than having a clip go up on YouTube of you being leveled by the mascot.

Consider this a public service announcement. Run onto the field, and what awaits you is pain.

From #10:

#10: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, NC (This comes from a WCW Nitro taping. Seriously, you run onto the field at a pro-wrestling event? The hell do you think is going to happen? The mandate is to pummel you if you try to run into the ring. The 'just stop him, cuff him and lead him off' apprehension is rare in pro wrestling. They WILL beat on you first.)

#9: Cleveland Browns Stadium, Cleveland, OH

#8: Joan C. Edwards Stadium, Huntington, WV

#7: Fenway Park, Boston, MA

#6: The Gabba, Brisbane, Australia

#5: Turf Moor, Burnley, England

#4: Bloomfield Stadium, Tel Aviv, Israel

#3: Soccer City, Johannesburg, South Africa (this is the 2010 World Cup final, and that is the trophy)

Fun fact about the victim here: he doesn't learn his lesson. Ever. This guy's a Spaniard who calls himself Jimmy Jump, better known as Oh God, Him Again; you'll know him by the fact that he comes out with a red foofy hat on his head and will probably try to stick it on the head of one of the athletes. Needless to say, security was not about to let him get the hat on the World Cup trophy. He's also been clobbered at, among others, the UEFA Champions League final, the Copa America, the French Open, the Davis Cup, and a Formula 1 race.Why sporting events the world over do not have a 'do not sell to this person' mugshot in the ticket booth is beyond me.

#2: Citizens Bank Park, Philadelphia, PA

#1: Colisee de Quebec, Quebec City, Quebec

Any questions?

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