You're a Big Fat Loser

UPDATED WEDNESDAY

Time for a silly little sports statistic. Since we're entering bowl season in college football, what I'm going to do is take the site Winsipedia, list off every school in FBS, and using Winsipedia's database of head-to-head results, find the opponent that each school has played the most times without winning once. Listing every school they're winless against, of course, would take forever. We are just looking for each school's historical personal Kryptonite.

Now, originally we used Sports Reference for this purpose. This article originally went up with them as the main source. However, Sports Reference doesn't have complete results. They only keep track of the results of 'major schools', which basically means FBS or FBS-like entities, and should there be a game in which a school was too far below their radar to be noticed, it won't be included in the results. Florida's recent loss to Georgia Southern, for example, was not included. Winsipedia counted more thoroughly on a per-team basis. Why did I not go to Winsipedia first? Because I only found them after I was like a hundred teams and most of the day into Sports Reference. There were swear words exchanged with Google for not alerting me to Winsipedia earlier. But there was little to do but go through the entire list again. I went as far as I could Tuesday night until I couldn't take it anymore; I come in on Wednesday fresher and prepared to finish it off. Links go to each school's overall head-to-heads as well as other assorted info we're not interested in here.

FBS schools only, of course, are listed. We'll only count active varsity football programs against them, but they don't have to be FBS opponents to be counted. So if the opponent at the top of the standings no longer plays varsity football, such as Xavier (in the case of Louisville), Xavier gets discarded and we take the next team down. But if the opponent has since moved down to a lower division, or was there the whole time (the Ivy League schools, for example), they count.

Sound good? Here is what I've got.

AIR FORCE has never beaten Baylor, Kansas St. or Penn St. (3 attempts each)
AKRON has never beaten Virginia Tech (5 attempts)
ALABAMA has never beaten Rice (3 attempts)
ALABAMA-BIRMINGHAM has never beaten Kansas, Louisiana Tech, SMU, Tennessee or Tulsa (4 attempts each)
ARIZONA has never beaten Rice (4 attempts)
ARIZONA ST. has never beaten Notre Dame (3 attempts)
ARKANSAS has never beaten Miami (FL) (3 attempts)
ARKANSAS ST. has never beaten Mississippi St. (16 attempts)
ARMY has never beaten East Carolina (8 attempts)
AUBURN has never beaten SMU (3 attempts)
BALL ST. has never beaten Purdue (8 attempts)
BAYLOR has never beaten Georgia (4 attempts)
BOISE ST. has never beaten Washington St. (4 attempts)
BOSTON COLLEGE has never beaten Brown (5 attempts)
BOWLING GREEN has never beaten Ohio St. (4 attempts)
BUFFALO has never beaten Ithaca (10 attempts)
BYU has never beaten Florida St. or Iowa St. (4 attempts each)
CALIFORNIA has never beaten Texas (5 attempts)
CENTRAL FLORIDA has never beaten South Carolina (4 attempts)
CENTRAL MICHIGAN has never beaten Kentucky (6 attempts)
CINCINNATI has never beaten Florida St. (6 attempts)
CLEMSON has never beaten Centre (3 attempts)
COLORADO has never beaten USC (8 attempts)
COLORADO ST. has never beaten Nebraska (6 attempts)
CONNECTICUT has never beaten Boston College (12 attempts)
DUKE has never beaten Florida St. (19 attempts)
EAST CAROLINA has never beaten Florida St. (7 attempts)
EASTERN MICHIGAN has never beaten Michigan (10 attempts)
FLORIDA has never beaten Villanova (4 attempts)
FLORIDA ATLANTIC has never beaten Michigan St. or Oklahoma St. (3 attempts)
FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL has never beaten Maryland (4 attempts)
FLORIDA ST. has never beaten Alabama (3 attempts)
FRESNO ST. has never beaten Arizona St., St. Mary's or Stanford (3 attempts each)
GEORGIA has never beaten Pittsburgh (4 attempts)
GEORGIA TECH has never beaten Arizona, Carnegie Mellon, Fresno St. or Utah (2 attempts each)
GEORGIA ST. has never beaten Old Dominion or Jacksonville St. (3 attempts each)
HAWAII has never beaten USC (9 attempts)
HOUSTON has never beaten Alabama (10 attempts)
IDAHO has never beaten USC (8 attempts)
ILLINOIS has never beaten Notre Dame (12 attempts)
INDIANA has never beaten North Carolina St., TCU or USC (4 attempts each)
IOWA has never beaten Miami (FL) (4 attempts)
IOWA ST. has never beaten Wisconsin (7 attempts)
KANSAS has never beaten Miami (FL) (4 attempts)
KANSAS ST. has never beaten Michigan St. (6 attempts)
KENT ST. has never beaten Kentucky or Pittsburgh (7 attempts)
KENTUCKY has never beaten Duke or Kansas (4 attempts each)
LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE has never beaten LSU (22 attempts)
LOUISIANA-MONROE has never beaten Auburn (9 attempts)
LOUISIANA TECH has never beaten Auburn (12 attempts)
LOUISVILLE has never beaten Tennessee (5 attempts)
LSU has never beaten Nebraska (6 attempts)
MARSHALL has never beaten West Virginia (12 attempts)
MARYLAND has never beaten Oklahoma (4 attempts) (dishonorable mention for Alexandria Episcopal High School of Virginia, also at 4 attempts)
MASSACHUSETTS has never beaten Brown (7 attempts)
MEMPHIS has never beaten Kentucky (4 attempts)
MIAMI (FL) has never beaten Kansas St., Middle Tennessee St. or Western Kentucky (2 attempts each)
MIAMI (OH) has never beaten Ohio St. or Michigan (5 attempts each)
MICHIGAN has never beaten Arizona St., BYU, Mississippi St., Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Toledo or Wesleyan (1 attempt each)
MICHIGAN ST. has never beaten Miami (FL) (4 attempts)
MIDDLE TENNESSEE ST. has never beaten Mississippi St. (5 attempts)
MINNESOTA has never beaten Notre Dame (5 attempts)
MISSISSIPPI has never beaten Texas A&M (6 attempts)
MISSISSIPPI ST. has never beaten Georgia Tech (4 attempts)
MISSOURI has never beaten Maryland (6 attempts)
NAVY has never beaten Ohio St. (4 attempts)
NEBRASKA has never beaten USC (5 attempts)
NEVADA has never beaten USC (5 attempts)
NEW MEXICO has never beaten Boise St. (5 attempts)
NEW MEXICO ST. has never beaten Boise St. (11 attempts)
NORTH CAROLINA has never beaten Oklahoma or Yale (7 attempts each)
NORTH CAROLINA ST. has never beaten Alabama (5 attempts)
NORTHERN ILLINOIS has never beaten Northwestern (7 attempts)
NORTH TEXAS has never beaten Texas or Arkansas (9 attempts each)
NORTHWESTERN has never beaten USC (5 attempts)
NOTRE DAME has never beaten Chicago (4 attempts)
OHIO has never beaten Iowa St., Ohio St. or Purdue (7 attempts)
OHIO ST. has never beaten Alabama or Florida St. (3 attempts)
OKLAHOMA has never beaten BYU (2 attempts)
OKLAHOMA ST. has never beaten Air Force, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi or Ohio St. (2 attempts)
OREGON has never beaten Ohio St. (8 attempts)
OREGON ST. has never beaten LSU or Michigan (4 attempts each)
PENN ST. has never beaten Yale (7 attempts)
PITTSBURGH has never beaten Michigan St. (7 attempts)
PURDUE has never beaten UCLA (5 attempts)
RICE has never beaten Oklahoma (7 attempts)
RUTGERS has never beaten Miami (FL) (11 attempts)
SAN DIEGO ST. has never beaten UCLA (22 attempts)
SAN JOSE ST. has never beaten Boise St. (11 attempts)
SMU has never beaten Army or BYU (3 attempts each)
SOUTH ALABAMA has never beaten Arkansas St., North Carolina St. or Troy (2 attempts each)
SOUTH CAROLINA has never beaten Tulane (3 attempts)
SOUTH FLORIDA has never beaten Georgia Southern (2 attempts)
SOUTHERN MISSISSIPPI has never beaten Mississippi College (10 attempts)
STANFORD has never beaten Columbia (3 attempts)
SYRACUSE has never beaten Yale (11 attempts)
TCU has never beaten Auburn, Georgia or North Carolina (3 attempts each)
TEMPLE has never beaten Western Michigan (7 attempts)
TENNESSEE has never beaten USC (4 attempts)
TEXAS has never beaten Syracuse (3 attempts)
TEXAS A&M has never beaten Florida St. or Ohio St. (4 attempts each)
TEXAS-SAN ANTONIO has never beaten Rice (2 attempts)
TEXAS ST. has never beaten Baylor (7 attempts)
TEXAS TECH has never beaten Georgia or USC (3 attempts each)
TOLEDO has never beaten Arizona (4 attempts)
TROY has never beaten Arkansas or Nebraska (4 attempts each) (dishonorable mention for Montgomery Sidney Lanier High School in Alabama, also at 4 attempts)
TULANE has never beaten Florida St. (10 attempts)
TULSA has never beaten Boise St. (6 attempts)
UCLA has never beaten Notre Dame (4 attempts)
UNLV has never beaten Washington St. (6 attempts)
USC has never beaten Florida, Florida St., Kansas St. or North Carolina (2 attempts each)
UTAH has never beaten Washington (8 attempts)
UTAH ST. has never beaten Nebraska (8 attempts)
UTEP has never beaten Boise St. (5 attempts)
VANDERBILT has never beaten Michigan (11 attempts)
VIRGINIA has never beaten Boston College (5 attempts)
VIRGINIA TECH has never beaten Princeton (3 attempts)
WAKE FOREST has never beaten Florida (4 attempts)
WASHINGTON has never beaten Notre Dame (8 attempts)
WASHINGTON ST. has never beaten Ohio St. (8 attempts)
WESTERN MICHIGAN has never beaten Michigan (6 attempts)
WESTERN KENTUCKY has never beaten Kansas St., Vanderbilt or Xavier (3 attempts each)
WEST VIRGINIA has never beaten Pennsylvania (5 attempts)
WISCONSIN has never beaten USC (6 attempts)
WYOMING has never beaten Boise St. (8 attempts)