Friday, May 4, 2012

Hatching Schemes

Do you remember Richard Hatch? The winner of the first season of Survivor? If you don't, the short version is that when he went on the show, he was a corporate trainer from Rhode Island, and that after he won the $1 million prize, he somehow failed to report his winnings to the IRS. His winnings that were announced on national television in what was not just a high-rated show but an American cultural event. After he was brought to trial for it, he attempted to go back and amend his old returns to reflect the winnings, only to find that you don't get to do that, or at least, you don't get to do that after they've already hauled you into court.

He served 51 months in federal prison. Which just proves that you can be an evil genius and still be really, really stupid.

Why do I bring him up? Well, first off, he's got this going:

Second, Hatch isn't being a very good spokesperson. First, when ordered to amend those old returns by a judge- the ones he tried to go back and amend after being brought to trial- he kind of didn't. The judge is still deciding whether to send him back to prison, but in any case, he's facing a 25% wage garnishment as a result. Hatch has asked that the garnishment be reduced to twenty-five US dollars for the month of January, claiming that since his release, he's earned only $500. The judge remains unamused.

Please note that this is a man who, in the All-Star edition of Survivor, smuggled matches onto the island in his ass, and is the reason why Survivor contestants are now strip-searched.

In conclusion, former corporate trainer.

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