...really? You're kidding. ...you're not kidding. Ohhhhhkay fine. If you say so.
1. Do not strip naked in front of the White House.
2. Do not strip naked, in fact, in any public place that does not explicitly permit nudity.
3. Do not climb fences while naked.
4. Do not climb the White House fence at any time.
5. Do not climb the White House fence while naked.
6. Do not assault people.
7. Do not assault law enforcement personnel.
8. Do not assault people while naked.
9. Do not assault law enforcement personnel while naked.
10. Do not assault Secret Service personnel while naked.
11. Do not assault Secret Service personnel on the White House lawn while naked.
If alcohol turns out not to be a factor in this, I am going to bury my face in my hands and scream for all the days.