Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Today's Thing I Can't Believe I Have To Clarify

So there was this show on Animal Planet called 'Mermaids: The Body Found'. It was fiction, conspiracy and crap piled on crap, aired as part of 'Monster Week' back in May, and the filmmakers admitted as much. Apparently, the filmmakers saying outright that they made "science fiction" was not enough for some people, who now think that the filmmakers have made a very plausible case for the existence of mermaids. After all, there was CGI and interviews with people from the NOAA and there were some actual facts sprinkled in amongst the crap piled on crap! After all, if you shake candy sprinkles into your toilet, the result is always delicious, right?

The NOAA has been forced into taking time out of their day- time they would otherwise be using to monitor hurricanes- to give an official denial and make sure you're aware that mermaids, in fact, do not actually exist, nor have they ever. You will not meet Ariel at the bottom of the ocean. You will not get to date the mermaid lady from Splash. You will not have to deal with the problem of what's down there to have sex with, and by extension, nor will you ever meet a reverse mermaid with a fish head. And if I hear one word about 'well,  that's the GOVERNMENT'S word, and are you really going to trust the government like the rest of the sheeple', I will cut you.

Honestly? We had to cover this?

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