He Really Has 16 Orders From Dubai

There is a hunters show in Fort Worth, Texas, that needs a bit of my attention, due to one particular product on display. It's referred to as the Couchbunker, and it looks like a normal couch, except that it has a gun safe hidden inside of it, and also, more notably to me, the cushions are bulletproof.

As creator John Adrain explains, "Hopefully you never need the panels, but we never know the situation we're going to be in. If there's a home invasion, you can take one of the cushions, and hand it to one of your children or your spouse to protect them. We make them with arm straps, so you can hold the cushion with one hand and fire with the other hand."

There is one instance I know of where a bulletproof couch has actually been necessary. That instance was in the pilot episode of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, when John and Sarah Connor were caught in a gunfight that involved not one, but two Terminators. John and Sarah Connor have every license to bulletproof whatever they damn well please, because they are fighting Terminators. You are not fighting Terminators. You are not a fictional  I can guarantee you, with 100% certainty, that a cyborg sent from the future to kill you is not going to bust through your front door. And if one does... well, really, good luck getting into that gun safe in time.

Also, doesn't it require both hands to properly aim and fire a gun?